Saturday, January 14, 2012


I have become quite used to being lonely. Ever since I left Singapore in April 2010, loneliness was my company, he followed me wherever I went. I couldn't mix or get in terms, or even communicate properly with anyone here. I couldn't relate to my relatives. I have pretty much become a loner in life. Like a lonely candle, in the midst of all the darkness.

Like a lonely flower, new but almost going to wither.

I missed all my friends in Singapore, the only friends I truly had. However, over time, I sort of lost them too, as it was tough to keep in contact online. Like they say, long-distance relationships never work. But just recently, I chanced upon an old friend, and we had a great conversation. Surprisingly, he still remembered and saw me as who I used to be, not as a stranger or someone new. The problem is, not everyone is like him. I heard from him, all the news of my pals in Singapore, how they've completed their O levels, and how they were graduating. I thought about it and realized, I should have been doing the same. But where am I now? What have I become, other than a loner, a loser, a hopeless person, who although sometimes knows how to dream big, never gets to see what he wants? Like a motionless leaf, I look up and see my friends, whom I used to share a life with, all fresh and joyful, graduating and rising up, away from me, whereas I am stranded down here, unable to progress or move on with or enjoy my life.


Vera said...

Hi, Shawn!

This is such a heartfelt post, thank you for sharing it.

What a coincidence, in April 2010 my life changed forever, I went to Wiesbaden for the very first time :)

This is exactly, exactly, exactly how I feel!
My friends from Wiesbaden seem to be so happy and joyful, they have got new friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, who, so to say, have replaced me. Why do people always give promices and then forget about everything?

adrielleroyale said...

Oh friend, comparison is a wicked thing! Lift your head and see yourself outside of comparison's eyes! Your world will be so much clearer that way. :) If anything, use this as a tool to branch out, to meet new people, and find your purpose! You are not a loser, you are God's beloved! ((hugs!!))

john said...

Hey Shawn, Many people find themselves in situations like yours, and much worse. It's all part of growing up. Just remember that it's a temporary condition, and good times will return. You'll appreciate them all the more when they do.
It all just works to strengthen your character in the long run.

Wong Chun Xing said...

I thought I was the lonely one but now seems like your loneliness is much more greater.
Don't worry, as long as you have something called the "Internet", you will never be lonely.

Shawn said...

Thanks guys, for your kind and contenting words. I'm trying my best to cope here. Maybe, like John said, its just part of growing up.

Thanks again guys, your help is really appreciated.

Photographers said...

chill man! come back to sg!!!!!!!!!! im free like almost anytime since im going to poly!!!!

Shawn said...

Hey Calvin, it's not that easy for me, I have to study, and air tickets aren't so cheap! :D


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